20-something actresses often come off as bubbleheaded bimbos, but Glue found one who is anything but: Brittany Murphy. This loose cannon stars in the campiest straight-to-cable movie we've ever seen (Cherry Falls) and doesn't bat an eye at questions about shrimping, her single status, and the Hollywood game.

She was clueless,
She was interrupted,
She was animated-
Now she's like a virgin.
Miss Murphy has some explaining to do.

Brittany, fox!

By Dave White
Photographed by Ian White

I am not gay anymore. I am now in love with Brittany Murphy. She has charmed me completely. And even if it's just a phony-actor-seduces-the-reporter moment, so be it. That's what actors are supposed to do, anyway; seduce people and make them feel things. If you've seen her do her job, then you will not walk away without crying or shuddering or laughing. Mostly laughing. She was Tai, Alicia Silverstone's makeover candidate in Clueless, and the rotisserie chicken-eating, daddy-fixated, suicidess in Girl, Interrupted. And she is the weekly voice of beauty school/cable access queen Luanne Platter on Mike Judge's animated series King of the Hill. She's even been on Broadway in last year's A View From the Bridge. Her new movie is Cherry Falls, a horror flick about a serial killer who targets virgins, forcing a small town of torqued-up teens to get busy sexing each other up in order to avoid the Freddy Krueger treatment. As it turns out, the Suits are dumping the movie onto cable. What a surprise! It is an odd combo of teen humping, NC-17 violence, black-comedy/horror camp and trad slasher-schlock. But please. The Watcher got released and that crud is nowhere near as cool as this. Oh well, Brittany's heart will go on…

Dave White: Earlier today, I was complaining to friends, "I have to interview Brittany Murphy with a frigging cold sore on my head."

Brittany Murphy: And they all said, "Who's Brittany Murphy?"

DW: No way, honey. They totally know who you are.

BM: (genuinely surprised) Yeah?

DW: Every gay man in the world knows you from-

BM: Oh! From Clueless! Duh. I saw these guys on Halloween last year in West Hollywood dressed like Alicia Silverstone and Stacy Dash, and even though I was in this mouse-meets-Sally-Bowles-from Cabaret costume, they recognized me and made me pose for pictures with them.

DW: See! And the rest of them know you from Freeway [a barely-released and completely unhinged, Little Red Riding Hood story starring Reese Witherspoon]. You know about the cult following for Freeway, right?

BM: I do! This guy came right up to me and quoted a line I say in it: "I have a gram of tar in my cooch." I just screamed when he said that to me.

DW: I know people who have Freeway watching parties. They watch that and Showgirls. More people know you from Girl, Interrupted, though. I ate half a rotisserie chicken last night in honor of this interview.

BM: Shut up! You did not! God BLESS you! I love that!

DW: It's true. I've also had a Luann Platter!

BM: No way! At that restaurant?

DW: Yep. My family lived in Garland, Texas for about 20 years and you can't swing a cat without hitting a Luby's Cafeteria (a Southern chain where the Luann Platter is served, and where Texan Mike Judge stole the name for her "King" character. He added an "e" to the end of her name).

BM: What do you get with a Luann Platter?

DW: Your choice of meat, two sides and a biscuit. All for $4.95.

BM: I'm a discount plate!

DW: So anytime you say "Eat me" to anyone, you can rest assured that someone, somewhere is doing just that. Brittany's publicist wanders over and very politely asks if we need more time. I realize we have been talking about dumb stuff this whole time. She's your publicist?

BM: Isn't she great? Can you believe how nice she is?

DW: She's been so nice to me all day I wouldn't have even pegged her as a publicist. Most of them are evil monsters.

BM: No comment.

DW: You know I'm right.

BM: No comment again. I was ignorant of the fact that I even needed a publicist for a long time. But you know what? If you can learn the things you need to know about this business and not let it get to you, you can enjoy it and get a kick out of it because it's all pretty funny. Big words of wisdom from a 22 year old, I know. But there's a job for everybody; there are evil accountants, too.

DW: No, that actually is pretty wise, no matter how old you are. Okay, speaking of evil, let's talk about your new slasher movie, Cherry Falls.

BM: Did you see it? Did you like it?

DW: It's cracked! There is some crazy-ass stuff in that movie. All the things you want in a horror movie: wigs, orgies, shrimping.

BM: (laughing) Yes. Gabriel Mann sucks my toes and then I slap his head with my feet.

DW: Everyone at the magazine wants to know if anyone is currently sucking your toes off-screen.

BM: Very single here.

DW: Did you make sure that you had especially clean feet for that scene?

BM: I was so self-conscious about that, but Gabriel is a very giving human. They also had me singing "The Star Spangled Banner" in that scene, but they said it was too odd so it got cut. I'm thrilled that you got the movie, because I was worried that a lot of the weird, fun, black comedy stuff was going to get cut out.

DW: It's still in there, like the big orgy with people getting stabbed while they fall naked downstairs! That's a great moment. And you get to be the Jamie Lee Curtis.

BM: The Neve Campbell!

DW: You run from the psycho-

BM: -and I fall down! The thing that no actual person does in real life when they're running for their lives-

DW: -but that every horror movie heroine does at least once when they're being chased by the maniac with the ax! You're now part of the cinematic pantheon of horror-movie chicks!

BM: Ooh, that is exciting.

DW: And if your career dies, you'll always have work at horror/sci-fi/comic book conventions, selling your autograph.

BM: For 25 bucks a pop!